THAT’S THE STORY OF MY LIFE

(John Redgate)
Rolling down the Three Chord Highway, picking up speed, shifting gears between truth and fiction, veering a bit near the end, finally wheezing to a halt five and a half minutes later, harmonica humming!


An apple a day keeps the doctor away
So how come I get the one with the worm?
A friend in need is a friend indeed
When I visit my sick friends I pick up their germs
I swear I won a million in the Lotto one time
But my dog ate the ticket and I didn’t get a dime

That’s the story of my life
Things just go from bad to worse
But I know someday things will go my way
I do believe the Bible verse
Someday the first shall be last and the last shall be first

Now I was walkin’ downtown, I saw a holdup goin’ down
I followed the crooks in my beat up Ford
The crooks got away, maybe crime does pay
A speeding citation was my reward
I saw this woman gettin’ mugged, I ran to her aid
She had a can a Mace, guess who got sprayed?

That’s the story of my life
Things just slide from bad to worse
But I have no doubt things will all work out
And every loss will be reversed
Someday the first shall be last and the last shall be first

When I was nine or ten, we’re talkin’ way back when
I entered a race down at Seaside Park
Now, I was pretty fast, but I came in last
Even though I was the first one off the mark
‘Cause I stumbled and fell, skinned my knee
I was tryin’ to get away from a bumble bee

But, hey, that’s the story of my life
Things just go from bad to worse
But I do believe there’s no need to grieve
Even when my bubbles burst
Someday the first shall be last and the last shall be first

I had a dream last week, I heard Saint Peter speak
We were standin’ at the Gates and behind us was a great parade
He said “It ain’t no sin if you never did win
You did some good and you kept the Faith”
Then he points to my name at the top of a list
Opens up a book and says, “You recognize this?” I said,

“Hey! That’s the story of my life!”
Things just went from bad to worse
But I always knew someday things would go my way
I do believe the Bible verse
Someday the first shall be last and the last shall be first